A Love Note
This text has nearly 4 years and it was the most personal and genuine text I've ever written. I used to be ashamed of sharing this but now I realize that this was probably the best thing I've written!
I’ve never
felt anything like this for anyone before! This year I had the best birthday of
my life. Do you know why? Because that was when I realized who I wanted for the
rest of my life, that was when I knew you were the one and it was you I wanted
by my side.
Everytime I
see you I feel a shiver inside me… a good, nervous and passionate one. Everytime
I see you seems like everything in my life fits and I feel complete. When you
talk, you illuminate me. When you smile, I smile with you. When you laugh, I
laugh along. When you tease me, I fall deeper in love.
I hate
myself… I hate myself so much for not being able to tell you all this, for not
being able to open my heart and tell you exactly how I feel, for being weak and
for not being brave enough to fight for what I want. If I’m scared? Of
course yes! I’m scared of your
reaction if you find out what I feel for you, I’m scared you’ll stay away from
me, I’m scared I’ll lose your friendship, I’ll lose you forever! I don’t want
to lose you… neither now nor ever. It might be just a simple friendship but I
don’t want to lose the smallest bond I have with you.
I wish I
could hug you whenever, hold you and never let go, grab your hand and never
separate them again, kiss you lips today, tomorrow and forever, whisper you “I
love you” and hear it back. I wish I could be with you whenever I want without
fearing what you might think.
But what
makes me feel sadder? Knowing that one day I might arrive and watch you hug
someone else…. Watch you kiss, hug and hold someone like I dreamt…. Watch you
being happy and in love with someone who doesn’t love you like I do, someone
who doesn’t know how hard it is to be with you every single day and keep my
mouth shut because I’m scared of your reaction.
While I
write this, I went on Facebook and saw you online and I wish I was brave enough
to start a conversation with you or send you a simple ‘I love you’. I would
love to be confident and not scared to fight for what I really want, for what I
need and love. No one is ever going to love you like I do and always will do.
You might
not even imagine this but sometimes you are the only one who can make me laugh
when I feel like nothing else makes sense. You always make sense! I love you.
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See ya!
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